An emotionally abusive relationship. What the heck is that?
Oftentimes, people in emotionally abusive relationships don’t understand that they are being abused because there’s no violence involved. Many will dismiss or downplay emotional abuse because they don’t think it’s as bad as physical abuse, but this is a mistake. Emotional abuse has major consequences and it’s often hard to recognize. This form of abuse deteriorates a person’s self-esteem, independence, and dignity. Not only is it serious because it affects a person’s well-being and could turn fatal, but also because the person has been brainwashed to think that the behaviors are normal aspects of a relationship!
https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/emotional_abuse/
I'm pretty sure most people don't know when they're in an emotionally abusive relationship, because I sure as hell didn't. It took two family members to make it click for me and when it did, I decided to leave. Let's take a quick stroll down memory lane:
Without getting into too much detail, I knew a guy for a long time and had been talking to him off and on for a few year. Our conversations would go to the extreme sometimes where I was made to feel like certain things were happening (or would happen) and it was all my fault. These certain things that were happening, I literally had no control of but I was made to feel, like it was my fault. And if I didn't say other certain things or do other certain things (nothing crazy, don't overthink it), then I was the reason why certain things were happening. I hope someone out there gets my drift. I'm not ready to go too deep into details over the internet but I wanted to write this post to make some things clear.
1. everyone is responsible for how they feel and how they act.
This gets rocky in relationships because in relationships we tend to believe its someone else's responsibility to make us feel good, but it's not. In a relationship a person can support how you feel, but they can't be the foundation of you feel and act. When these lines get blurred that's when emotional abuse can kick in quickly.
If someone has to bring you down in order to get their point across and themselves feel better, then its emotional abuse.
If the person who "loves" you or "cares" about you, is consistently putting you down and bringing up your insecurities in order to control you, then you're being emotionally abused.
If you continue to let this person be responsible for how you feel and act, then you're in an emotionally abusive relationship.
You have to know when to walk away.
Like I said earlier, most people don't know when the relationship is emotionally abusive. They think this is what love is and "I'd rather have someone to put me down then have no one at all". It shouldn't be like that. It sucks because physically abusive relationships you can see on the outside. You can see the marks of a person losing their temper and releasing their anger out onto another person. When it comes to emotional abuse there are no external scars but the internal scars are most definitely still there and living in someone's head over and over again. You don't get to see that your best friend's boyfriend called her "a bitch" and "a slut" and "the worst person ever" just by looking at her, but those very things could be happening. And it's all "okay" because we aren't strong enough to admit or even recognize when we're being emotionally abused.
Emotionally abusive relationships are real and they are happening. Notice the signs and find a way to leave. We all deserve nothing but the absolute best.
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